


(find my way) back to you

by dreamsailing



Series: take my hand, we'll make it through [2]
Category: Produce 101 (TV), Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Cheese, M/M, also daehwi, but not too much, getting together?, guanlin showing up for n seconds lol, minki and dongho are here, slight angstadjdlskahd
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-13
Updated: 2017-07-13
Packaged: 2018-12-01 14:56:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11488749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreamsailing/pseuds/dreamsailing
Summary: Distance, Minhyun learns, does make the heart grow fonder.





	(find my way) back to you

**Author's Note:**

> im not really sure about this one....  
> i just wanted to write another one cos i couldnt leave the chick being broken hearted hAH  
> im sorry if this doesnt live up to your expectations ;;;  
> and it's somehow fast paced, i hope you guys wouldnt mind ;u;  
> also, if you're reading this work first, i advise you to read the first part of this 'series' to get a better grasp of the setting eheh  
> things at the end are somehow cheesy ew
> 
> //please dont kill me//

_Can you come at the airport?_

It’s almost 4 am and Minhyun’s just got into his pajamas and ready to dive in his sheets, but upon seeing Seonho’s text, he’s diving into his closet instead, rummaging through his collection of turtle necks and throwing one over himself. He swiftly collects his wallet and car key by the coffee table, making sure to lock the door behind him before he’s sprinting down the building and into the park lot.

Something does not bode well when he’s read the younger’s text.

Seonho hasn’t shown himself after _that_ incident. Although the younger did spend the night at Minhyun’s flat, he’s already gone when Minhyun woke up the next morning. Since then, Minhyun hasn’t seen even his shadow, however, the younger never failed to send him his daily reminders of _hyung, eat your lunch, hyung, don’t forget your vitamins, hwang minhyun, I know you’re still up. go to sleep, your photos can wait tomorrow_ via text messages. Seonho has declined each of Minhyun’s phone calls and invitations to meet up and that went on for almost a month. This is the first time Seonho has contacted him to meet up.

But at the airport? At this ungodly hour?

Pessimistic thoughts are already plaguing his sleep-deprived mind.

His photos and sleep can wait, but for now he has to drive to the airport to find answers to the questions bubbling up in his mind. He takes a deep breath, shakes his head and steps on the gas pedal. He just hopes he wouldn’t be going home with a heavy heart come sunrise.

 

* * *

 

Seonho gives him a soft smile when they finally meet at the airport but Minhyun found it hard to reciprocate, not when his eyes immediately fell on the suitcase and backpack by Seonho’s side. His eyes then traveled to the thing Seonho’s holding onto his right hand: a passport and a piece of paper sticking out of it.

“They’ve been announcing my name for the last two minutes. I was supposed to board 20 minutes ago, but,” he says quietly, a hand coming up to rub the back of his neck, “guess I couldn’t go without seeing your face.”

Minhyun finally lifts his eyes to study Seonho’s face. There are bags under the younger’s eyes and his cheeks seem a little hollower. He wants to reach out and ask him what he has been up to the past month and ask him about this nonsense he’s spouting about leaving.

But words get stuck on his throat when he hears Seonho’s name being called over the intercom, a last warning before the plane leaves.

_Before he leaves._

“Why are you,” Minhyun almost chokes on thin air, “Why are you leaving so suddenly?”

Minhyun feels a lot of things and nothing at the same time. His heart constricts at the thought of Seonho leaving, but what hurts him even more is the possibility that he could be the reason behind it.

 

_Did I hurt you too much to drive you away like this?_

 

“Ah hyung,” Seonho immediately steps forward when he reads the expression on Minhyun’s face. He lifts a hand to reach for Minhyun but decides against it last moment, retracting it to lie limply against his side. He takes a step back, “please don’t think that I’m leaving because of what happened.”

“Then, why?”

“It was a last-minute decision,” Seonho answers, eyes trained on the tiled floor as he scuffs his shoe against it. “Sorry I didn’t tell you, but I just, I just thought this is a good opportunity to somehow let things find their place?” he smiles, albeit sadly.

Minhyun grapples at the idea. He can deal with not seeing Seonho for almost a month because he knows for a fact the younger’s just around the town and it puts Minhyun’s mind at ease, but this? This amount of distance? Thousands of miles and probably oceans apart? Minhyun couldn’t even wrap his mind around it.

But then Seonho wraps his arms Minhyun tightly and the cogs in Minhyun’s mind instantly halt. Minhyun’s sure he stopped breathing, but he’s not sure whether it’s because Seonho’s arms around him are so tight or because his heart just couldn’t handle the onslaught of guilt and regret he’s feeling right now.

Seonho’s breath is warm against his ear when he whispers before he’s letting go. His warmth lingers but Minhyun’s hands turn cold. He’s left grasping for nothing in thin air when Seonho walks away and doesn’t look back until he disappears beyond the gate.

 

The sun is slowly rising in the east, painting the sky a soft orange glow Minhyun usually love. But Minhyun’s too out of it to register the beautiful sunrise, not when all he could hear was the sound of the airplane’s engine roaring through the sky, reverberating through his eardrums.

He does go home with a heavy heart and with four words echoing in his mind.

 

_Take your time, hyung._

 

* * *

 

It has been two years, and Minhyun thinks things have turned for the worse since then. Seonho has _almost effectively_ erased every of his traces in Minhyun's life.

Firstly, he hasn’t called once for the past two years. Secondly, he deactivated all of his SNS accounts which left Minhyun with no medium on looking him up. And finally, the worst, Seonho must’ve left a word with their friends to keep mum about his whereabouts from Minhyun. Even the most tempting offer for a barbecue dinner couldn't draw a single word out from Guanlin. To say that he’s frustrated is an understatement. He could only berate himself for failing to ask Seonho himself that day they last met at the airport.

He’s been getting by, barely. Jonghyun says he’s getting crankier and Minki says it comes with age. Dongho makes an off handed comment about Minhyun _just missing his pacifier_ and Dongho’s shoulders almost fall off from how hard the other two slapped him. Minhyun doesn’t have the energy to argue so he just waves them off.  

He doesn’t tell them the countless times he’s woken up with Seonho’s name spilling from his lips, the words _come home_ accompanying it.

 

The sun is already high up in the sky, bright rays filtering through Minhyun's blinds. It’s almost noon, he thinks, but his body isn’t cooperating with him today. Staying in bed seems like a perfect idea, especially since he stayed up til 5 am to finish his photos.

He blindly reaches for his phone on the bedside table and is momentarily surprised with the number of text messages and calls he’s missed. He sits up, thoughts of emergency flooding his mind.

 

_Happy Birthday, Minhyunie! So, where’s the party?_

_Yah hwang, drinks on you later, right?_ _ㅋㅋ_ _happy birthday bro_

_what cake flavor should i get for u_

_ah sorry minki's mad at me rn i forgot its supposed to be a surprise for later anyways hbd my turtle bro_

 

As expected from Kim Jonghyun who has no sense for surprises.

 

He turns to the calendar stand at the table and only then did he realize it really is his birthday, it's already August 9th. He’s been so busy lately he wasn’t able to keep track of the date. Minhyun sighs and runs a hand over his face. He'll have to search up for a restaurant quick to make reservations.

He’s about to put his phone away when his phone buzzes once more

It’s a message from Guanlin.

 

_Hey, hyung. Happy birthday! Can i meet u up quick? just need to hand u something_

 

Minhyun groans. Maybe Minki was right about being crankier coming with age. Since staying in bed is obviously a no-go now, Minhyun sluggishly pulls himself out of bed after sending a quick _sure_ to Guanlin. Hopefully a good shower will wash away the tiredness that's already deep seated in his bones.

 

* * *

 

"Oh, hyung," Guanlin perks up from his seat and gives him a warm hug, flashing him his usual gummy smile, "happy birthday!"

"Thanks, Lin." He seats himself across Guanlin who’s now got his head halfway in his backpack, "Don’t you have classes today?"

"I have, but I needed to give you this before I go," he finally fishes something from his bag, a small box wrapped in baby blue cloth, "the usual, from him for your birthday this year."

This is what Minhyun meant when he said Seonho "almost effectively” erased his traces in his life, because although Seonho indeed hasn’t directly contacted him, he's been receiving occasional gifts from the younger through Guanlin. He received his presents for his birthday, for Christmas, and even bunch of chocolates for Valentines. Typical things Seonho used to do himself when he was still around.

Minhyun wordlessly reaches for the box, muttering a quiet thank you to Guanlin. He feels the soft material of the gift wrap and is reminded of soft skin and fluffy cheeks. His fingers suddenly itch at the thought.

"You could’ve just given this later when we meet up for dinner, Guanlin-ah. I don’t want you to be late for class."

"No worries, hyung." the younger responds with a smile, zipping his bag noisily and standing up, “And I specifically got a word from him to give it to you as early as possible.”

Minhyun nods with a meek smile and Guanlin wraps an arm around him before he’s heading for the door.

Before the younger makes it out though, Minhyun calls his name loud enough for him to stop on his track.

“Seonho,” Minhyun licks his lips, this is the first time he’s asking about the younger in a while, “is he doing well?”

Guanlin hoists his bag higher on his back, a big smile blooming in his face, “He’s fine, hyung, no need to worry.”

Those words bring a rush of relief to Minhyun’s heart.

All this time he tried to act indifferent about things concerning Seonho. He trained himself not to react much as to give himself away to their friends and holds back from asking questions whenever the younger’s name is brought up. Minhyun doesn’t trust himself not to break, not when he himself hasn’t come fully in term with his own feelings.

Minhyun mouths _thank you_ to Guanlin and the latter’s off sprinting out of the café in no time. When the younger’s already out of sight, Minhyun turns his attention to the small blue-covered box in his hands. He could only imagine how huge Seonho’s smile could be when he could have personally hand this gift to Minhyun. He’d probably rant how he’s brainstormed for the perfect gift for weeks and how tiring it was to look from store to store, how he’s spent almost half of his allowance for Minhyun’s gift _but it doesn’t matter_ because it’s _worth it_ because _I love—_

Minhyun sighs and carefully places the box in his pocket, standing up to make a beeline to the cashier.

As he’s waiting in line, his eyes flits on the list of drinks hung on the wall. A small smile creeps on his lips.

_I wonder if he drinks coffee now?_

* * *

 

“Sorry we couldn’t get you the chocolate cake from your favorite cake shop, they already ran out when we got there,” Jonghyun says as he lights up the candles on Minhyun’s red velvet cake, a small apologetic smile on his face.

“It’s fine, I’m happy enough you guys even bothered to get me a cake!” Minhyun giggles, a hand coming up to cover his mouth.

It’s been a great night. Minhyun was able to make last minute reservations in the restaurant they frequent to and everyone’s present tonight (well, _almost_ everyone), happily wishing him a happy birthday with warm hugs, hastily wrapped presents and sneaky, sloppy kisses from the younger ones.

“Ah, it’s only once a friend turns 28.” Dongho snickers from the end of the table, cheeks warm pink from the few glasses of beer he’s already downed.

“Shut up, Dongho. We’re the same age.” Everybody in the table erupts in laughter.

Jonghyun finally manages to light all the candles and lifts the cake closer to Minhyun. Everyone then breaks in a happy birthday song in various tones Minhyun couldn’t count. When the song ends, Jinyoung nudges him to make a wish, and so he closes his eyes, clasping his hands together in earnest.

 

_Please let things fall into place._

 

He blows off the candle and the room cheers, the younger ones immediately reaching for forks and digging on the cake.

Minhyun could only smile at the endearing sight before him. Everyone’s smiles are up to their ears and there’s an endless chatter from each side of the table. Minhyun usually rolls his eyes at the chaos which his friends are but right now he’s thankful for their distraction and this momentary bliss. He’s been so cooped up with stuff for his exhibit for the past few months that he’s missed their company. As much as he finds them annoying most of the time, Minhyun could never deny the fond spot he has for this circle.

“So,” Jonghyun hands him a glass of beer as he takes the seat beside him, “how’s the photos coming up?”

“Good, I guess.” He accepts the glass and rests in down the table, letting the coldness sip thru the skin of his palm, “I just need a few more for the last corner I’m setting up. I still don’t know what concept I’ll go with.”

“Which corner?”  
“The _pieces of me_ one,” Minhyun lets his finger trace the rim of the glass, “I can’t think of what to put up there.”

Minhyun’s accustomed to capturing everything and everybody else but himself in his camera lenses. He’s got loads of pictures of sceneries, people, events, and random things on ordinary days but he’s not one to take pictures of himself regularly. Truth be told, his gallery is flooded with somebody else’s pictures rather than himself.

“Well, you could always put your childhood photos there.” Jonghyun comments, which earns him smack on the shoulder from the other. Jonghyun just laughs it off. “What? Your baby photos are decent.”

“Putting them out there would be a tragedy.” Minhyun hisses, finally lifting the glass to his mouth and taking a few gulps.

“You need to think fast, your exhibit’s in two weeks’ time, right?”

Minhyun nods, placing the now half-empty glass on the table. “I just want to get over with it. I’m so tired I don’t want to talk about it.”

Jonghyun hums understandingly as he runs a palm over Minhyun’s back, wishing it would somehow ease some of his best friend’s stress. “Okay, then I’ll change the topic,” he clears his throat, “what did you wish for this time?”

Minhyun turns slightly to stare at Jonghyun who’s got a smug smile on his face, “Seriously, Jong, you’re asking about that?”

Jonghyun shrugs, “Just wanted to know if you wished for the same thing again.”

One thing about being best friends with Kim Jonghyun is that he can percept what’s going on Minhyun’s mind even when the latter doesn’t speak of it. He always seems to know the perfect words to say to ease the violent thoughts in his mind during his one too many break downs and little panics and gives the best advice whenever Minhyun calls him at the crack of dawn, voice groggy but ears still willing to listen.

Minhyun is suddenly reminded of the little box on his pocket.

“I just wanted for things to finally settle down,” his fingers come to run over his pocket, tracing the edges of the box lining over the fabric, “for things to finally find their places.”

There’s a moment of silence before Jonghyun adjusts himself on his seat, leaning in closer to Minhyun and asks with a voice Minhyun recognizes he only uses when he’s being careful, “You miss him, don’t you?”

Minhyun chokes back a wet laugh, his heart feels like being smashed with that one simple question.

He’s tired. He’s tired of denying this. His heart is so tired that now he can only bare it as it bleeds raw with yearning and longingness.

“I do, of course I do,” he concedes softly, hanging his head low.

This is the first time he admits to someone else (and to himself) that he misses _him_. The past two years were too dull, too cold, too silent— Minhyun realizes Seonho was like summer: warm, bright, a burst of colors, airy laughs and a lingering sweet taste on the tongue, and when he left, he took everything of these with him, and Minhyun’s left with cold and dullness—he hates winters.

“But you know, the funny thing is,” his voice shakes, he wants to laugh at his absurdity but at the same time his throat is too scratchy with the mass of emotions trying to claw their way out into a sob, “I miss him but I kind of don’t, at the same time? ‘cos when I’m outside or even when I’m home, there’s bits and pieces of him that’s lingering around. There are always things, no matter how little, that reminds me of him.”

 _Little things matter a lot._ This is what Minhyun learns over the years. Like when he’s organizing his closet and finds pieces of Seonho’s clothing mixed with his; when he hears Seonho’s favorite song while he’s grocery shopping; whenever he buys extra of everything he uses just cause he knows Seonho will be using them too; when he takes out Seonho’s favorite rainbow cake from their usual café although he knows he’s not around to eat it— and heck, even drinking iced americano reminds him of Seonho.

“You know what I think?” Jonghyun’s voice brings him back to his senses, a soft smile on his face contrasting the grim look on Minhyun’s, “I think you’re not really asking for everything to find their place. You’re just asking for one thing, or maybe two.” He smiles, patting Minhyun’s shoulder before standing up.

Minhyun reaches for his wrist, brows knitted together because of the other’s words, “What do you mean?”  
Jonghyun softly sighs, “You just want Seonho to find his place, which is right next to you,” Minhyun’s grip on Jonghyun’s wrist tighten as his eyes go wide, “And your place beside him."

Jonghyun’s words worked to be the key to finally open the gates for Minhyun to finally realize, to finally accept his own feelings. All this while he’s convinced himself that this loneliness is caused by being far too acquainted with Seonho for so long, that he’s only missing him because he’s grown used to having him around all the time. But now he’s finally realized that this pain is caused by something more profound, it’s not only the things that he’s missing, but most importantly, it’s the person whom he has shared all these with.

“I think you had fair enough time, Min.” Minhyun belatedly realizes that Jonghyun is now the one holding onto him, small hands squeezing his reassuringly. “I think it’s time.”

 

 

When Minhyun comes home later that night, he retrieves the box from his pocket and carefully opens it. It’s a plain silver chain bracelet and it shines beautifully against the moonlight. Albeit there are tears in his eyes as he puts the bracelet around his wrist, there’s finally a genuine smile gracing Minhyun’s lips after a long time.

Now only if he could also give Seonho his gifts he’s stashed away in his closet.

 

* * *

 

“Minhyun hyung!” the force of Daehwi’s hug almost tackles Minhyun to the ground, luckily, he finds his balance just in time as he wraps his arm around the other male.

“Congratulations! This is amazing, hyung! Your works are amazing!” Daehwi gushes like a hyperactive child and Minhyun couldn’t help the endearing chuckle which escapes from his mouth.

“Thanks, Daehwi.” He ruffles the younger’s hair, “Who did you come with?”

“I hitched a ride with Hyunbin hyung, he said you’ll be treating us for barbecue after this?”  
“Ah, Kwon Hyunbin, I didn’t say anything about barbecue.” Daehwi immediately deflates at his response and Minhyun almost coos at the younger, “but okay I’ll treat you guys tonight since everything went smoothly.”

Daehwi pumps a fist through the air as he bounced away to find the others and spread the good news.

  
Minhyun talks to a few more people before he decided to call it a night, ushering few important people out of the venue with pleasantries spilling from his lips. This is his third exhibit and by far the most successful one. Throughout the night, he’s been approached several times by prospect clients asking for private meetings for the next days. Minhyun is beyond ecstatic with the result of his months of hard work.

It’s past 10 pm when everyone finally filtered out of the venue. He told Jonghyun he’ll be checking up some stuff before coming down with them to their usual barbecue place.

The place is now quiet, considerably dim with the lights mostly out save for the one corner he’s standing in front of.

He lets his eyes roam over the black and white pictures.

 

A bright smile.

Crooked glasses over a confused face.

Bunched up cheeks stuffed with pizza

A serene sleeping face

 

At the bottom of the pictures lie the following words:

_Warmth and Happiness; My Summer_

_Pieces of me in you_

 

Minhyun smiles to himself, it had been a last-minute decision to put up the pictures for this corner, but he’s more than happy he did. His minds flits back to the instances he’s taken these photos. They were just on ordinary days. Ordinary days which Minhyun learned to treasure the most.

 

“Ah, the model is really ugly.”

 

The voice is awfully familiar.

Minhyun’s almost too sure his heart stopped beating for two seconds because he knows that voice, he knows it too well that he hears it even in his dreams.

He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes, _please don’t let this be a dream_ , he’s had far enough dreams of a boy with a smile as bright as the sun in summer for the past two years, leaving him with a dampened heart the moment he wakes up.

But when he turns his head, he’s met with the smile he loves the most.

The violent rumbles in Minhyun’s heart slowly dissipates, replaced with crashing relief and ease.

 

Everything and nothing changed at all.

 

Seonho’s taller now, his features sharper and voice an octave lower, but he’s still the same person that makes Minhyun’s heart and mind rumble and calm at the same time. His eyes still have that soft glimmer, sparkling like they hold the galaxies in the sky, deep and alluring.

“Hi hyung,” Seonho takes a step closer and Minhyun feels the warmth radiating from the younger when their arms brushed.

His heart doesn’t take it easy. The wounds in his heart are still there, but they’re not burning anymore, not when the sight of Seonho in flesh washes most if not all of the excruciating sadness he’s endured for the past years.

There’s a lot of things he wants to say right now, but words don’t come easy. He wants to tell him everything, the words he never got to say the first time around. But Minhyun figures he doesn’t mind if there’s not much to say right now, because sometimes it’s better for silence to speak for itself. They have all of tomorrows to make up for it anyways.

He lets his eyes scan the other, a soft smile adorning his lips. There’s an apology almost spilling from his lips, an apology for taking too long, for realizing late, for letting him slip away from him once—but Minhyun knows better than to repeat the same mistakes. Not when Seonho looks this breathtaking even with the lights dimmed.

So he takes one step forward, one of the many he’ll be taking for the next days, weeks, months, years. He takes the younger’s hand into his, lacing them slowly and squeezing them softly. His eyes catch the gleam of a silver chain bracelet encircling the other’s thin wrist, and it gives a low clink when it meets the one around Minhyun’s wrist.

He relishes on the warmth traversing through his veins. He couldn’t help but break in a bright smile, “Coffee with me?”

  
Seonho looks at their linked fingers, surprise evident on his face as he lifts his head to meet Minhyun’s eyes. The younger’s eyes hold a lot of questions but Minhyun just answer by tugging at their connected hands, and that’s when Seonho breaks into realization.

 

_Finally._

 

His lips tremble and his eyes water as he brings their hands against his cheek, Minhyun’s cold ones warming in his touch.

“I’d love to.”

 

It’s okay to be late, to drift apart, to get lost sometimes, because it gives room to learn, to grow.  And Minhyun’s thankful for the distance, the absence, because it made him realize so many things. Now, he’s ready to jump and he’s no longer afraid to fall.

Because he knows it’ll be worth it.

**Author's Note:**

> im sorry i dont give satisfactory ending scenes???? huhuhUH  
> you can scream at me on twtitter @kmjnghynjr  
> thank you for reading


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